Movies With Immortals

Okay, let's talk about movies where people just… don't die. You know the ones. The characters who have seen empires rise and fall, probably invented sliced bread, and definitely have a much better opinion on the best way to fold a fitted sheet. I'm talking about the immortals. And honestly, I have some thoughts.

We love a good immortal story, don't we? It's fascinating to imagine someone living forever. Think about it. No more worrying about that weird mole. No more awkward birthday parties where you pretend to be surprised by the same cake. Just… endless time. Sounds pretty sweet, right?

But here's the thing. My unpopular opinion? Immortality in movies often feels a bit… inconvenient. Like, really inconvenient.

Take Highlander. Great movie. Iconic sword fights. But Connor MacLeod? He's immortal. And while it's cool he gets to battle other immortals for "The Prize," think about the logistics. How many times has he had to move house? Imagine packing up all those centuries of belongings. "Oh, this dusty old tapestry? I vaguely remember the Tudors being all the rage." And don't even get me started on dating. "So, how long have you been alive?" "Oh, you know, since the Bronze Age. You?" Instant relationship killer, I bet.

And then there's The Mummy. Imhotep, the original mummy man. He’s brought back to life, and he’s mad. He’s been stuck in a tomb for ages, probably with nothing but sand and existential dread for company. You’d be mad too! But his goal? World domination. Honestly, after thousands of years of being dead and then re-living that moment, I’d probably just want a really good nap and maybe some artisanal cheese. World domination seems like a lot of paperwork.

Let's consider Interview with the Vampire. Lestat and Louis. They're vampires, which is a specific kind of immortality. They have the whole "sparkling in the sun is bad" thing going on, which seems like a major bummer for beach vacations. And the angst! So much angst. Louis is constantly moping about his eternal existence. I mean, buddy, you’re living forever. Can you at least try to find a hobby that doesn't involve brooding in dusty mansions? Take up knitting. Learn French. Finally figure out how to assemble IKEA furniture without crying.

My biggest issue, though, is the sadness that often comes with it. Immortality, in movie land, usually means outliving everyone you ever loved. It's a guaranteed recipe for heartbreak. You meet someone, you fall in love, you have a wonderful life together… and then they get old and pass away. And you’re still there, looking exactly the same, with a heart full of memories and a whole lot of awkward silences.

Imagine Claude Frollo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Okay, he’s not technically immortal, but he acts like it, holding onto grudges for ages. If he was immortal, his obsession with Esmeralda would probably have lasted longer than a TikTok trend. And that’s the terrifying thought. Imagine your worst phases, your most embarrassing moments, your most questionable fashion choices, all stretched out for eternity.

And the boredom! Oh, the sheer, unadulterated boredom. After a few centuries, what’s left to discover? They’ve probably seen every natural wonder, heard every story, and tasted every cuisine. At some point, wouldn’t you just want to… fade out? Like a really old Netflix show that nobody watches anymore?

"I mean, after the first thousand years, isn't everything just a re-run?"

Look at Doctor Who. He’s a Time Lord, which is basically super-powered immortality. He’s got a cool space ship, he travels the universe, he meets amazing people. Sounds great! But he also has to watch his companions grow old and die, over and over again. It’s enough to make you want to stay in one place and master the art of competitive napping.

Even when they try to make it fun, like in Death Becomes Her, where Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn drink a potion for eternal youth, it’s still a bit of a mess. They spend their immortal lives trying to kill each other. It’s like a very elaborate, very dangerous game of whack-a-mole.

My point is, maybe immortality isn't all it's cracked up to be. Maybe a finite lifespan, with all its messy emotions and the sweet relief of eventually getting to rest, is actually the better deal. You get to make the most of the time you have. You appreciate the little things, like a good cup of coffee or a perfectly ripe avocado.

So, next time you’re watching a movie with an immortal character, just spare a thought for their eternal struggles. The constant moving, the endless goodbyes, the sheer existential dread of knowing you’ll never get to experience the sweet release of old age. It’s enough to make you grateful for your own mortal coil. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a perfectly good Netflix show to binge before it disappears forever. And that, my friends, is the beauty of being temporary.